A few months ago while interviewing designer and friend TC Alvarez of Two Chic for Modern Living TV, something went “click” in my brain. We were talking about balancing work and motherhood and how she expertly manages to do it all. She said something that struck a chord in me, that made absolute perfect sense. “We have handful of loyal clientele, we have just this one store and have never really wanted to expand. My sister and I are both mothers and we consider ourselves lucky to pursue our passions, make a business out of it and still have time to be moms.” Isn’t that all one can really hope for anyway? It dawned on me that today we are hardwired for insatiable ambition. We are taught that we have to keep moving upward, we must reach the top, be the best. It was then I realized that rather than move upward I would rather move forward, and instead of being on top I should always be on top of my own game. I no longer need to be the best but to do my very best.
In this day and age of social media, it seems that we are always whether consciously or unconsciously comparing ourselves with others. That person has more followers, she’s always at these events, what a body! There was a time where I was a bit confused and in fact rather insecure. At one point I was no longer the it girl, no longer qualified for the “bagets” category but not quite in the “young mom” category. I no longer had a food business so then I was no longer in the foodie box. I had failed miserably at my restaurant. And well was feeling quite worthless and sorry for myself. Then I became pregnant and everything was put into perspective. Pregnancy and being a mother became a constant reminder for me to count my blessings. To live everyday in gratitude.
It’s inevitable that there will always be someone that’s done better than you in this or that but ultimately we all have something that we are grateful for. Luckily, when the TV show fell into my lap it opened a whole new world of possibilities for me. Not because it put me on the small screen, I don’t even know who watches the show, I can’t because I don’t even have cable at home. I watch online every once in awhile just to see where I can improve. But the truth is I love my work as a journalist and TV host so much because of the people I meet, the crew I work with and the things I learn. It’s at that very moment when I’m taping and on location that I enjoy. Perhaps I could “do more” to build my “brand”. Attend more events, be more visible but I am so satisfied after a day’s work and all I want to do is come home to my son and my husband. Spend time with them during that golden hour right before dinner and bedtime, then cradle him to sleep in my arms before enjoying a relaxing evening à deux with the hubby. It’s really hard to pull me away from that. All of that is more than enough for me and I’m extremely grateful for it all.
When I started living like this it’s made me happier. I’m about to post a rant on Facebook then I think back on my son laughing and dancing that morning and I think – there’s no need to add more negative energy to the world. When someone else gets perhaps a hosting gig instead of me, I have learned to be sincerely happy for their accomplishments and relish the extra time I have at home in pajamas watching our favorite series with the hubby. And what keeps me moving forward or evolving are the people I meet who inspire me to do better, not in comparison to others but to better myself. Whether small goals like sticking to a healthier diet or heftier ones like learning a new skill or language, it’s all about moving forward, not upward. Moving forward in love and gratitude.
Watch the complete interview here on MLTV: